Vinay Menon: To say that calling a person bald is sexual harassment is a hare-brained insult

My guess is the Rock has been sexually harassed many instances.

However I doubt it’s as a result of he has no hair. So let’s attempt to comb via a U.Ok. authorized determination this week, by which a tribunal dominated that calling a person “bald” within the office qualifies as sexual harassment.

Because the Unbiased reported, the case was introduced by electrician Tony Finn. He was fired from a producing agency after a verbal row with supervisor Jamie King. It appears Mr. King referred to as Mr. Finn a “bald c–t.”

The tribunal famous “industrial language” was prevalent contained in the British Bung Firm, which itself sort of has a profane ring to it. Wonderful. Once I’ve been round these within the trades or development, nicely, the salty banter doesn’t sound like they’re filling potholes on Sesame Avenue.

I as soon as heard a plumber check with my clogged drain as an actual son of a bitch.

However the complainant wasn’t bothered by the C-word. It’s “bald” that was the four-letter obscenity. And that is the place the ruling will get bizarre.

Since hair loss is extra prevalent amongst males than ladies, the judges famous, utilizing the b-word as a pejorative is sexual harassment. Or because the Unbiased put it: “Commenting on a person’s baldness within the office is equal to remarking on the dimensions of a lady’s breasts …”

I worry this logic might have some Rogaine.

The tribunal is arguing there isn’t a distinction between a Kojak put-down of a male worker and a creepy remark to a feminine worker about her chest? There’s a huge distinction. The feminine worker is being sexually objectified. The male worker is getting insulted with no carnal intent.

Each situations are improper and gross, you perceive.

However when Mr. King referred to as Mr. Finn a “bald c–t,” it’s not as a result of he longed to rub aromatic potions on the electrician’s cranium throughout a romantic bubble bathtub. There is no such thing as a male sample baldness linguistic equal for, “Take a look at the rack on her.” You’ll be able to’t shave the “intercourse” out of sexual harassment.

However because the tribunal wrote: “In our judgment, there’s a connection between the phrase ‘bald’ on the one hand and the protected attribute of intercourse on the opposite … We discover it to be inherently associated to intercourse.”

Inform that to Jada Pinkett Smith. However not if Will Smith is in earshot.

There is no such thing as a query baldism nonetheless exists. However it’s manner higher than it was once when toupées and infomercial spray-on hair had been punch strains. Michael Jordan was not simply the best NBA participant ever — he was additionally the best ambassador for bald. He made shiny domes cool. And now a few of the coolest males in our tradition have much less hair than newborns in Scandinavia.

I can let you know proper now, if Stanley Tucci had feathered bangs and a mullet, there isn’t a manner CNN would pay him to eat his manner throughout Italy. His baldness is so elegant and complex, it makes me implicitly belief no matter he has to say concerning the Tagliatelle al Ragù or Bistecca alla Fiorentina.

Baldism will not be even near different types of nonetheless accepted discrimination, particularly ageism. I can joke about vegans or Scientologists with zero worry of getting cancelled. No tribunal will ever aspect with the flat-earthers.

who else will get the brief finish of the stick? Tall ladies. It’s now manner simpler to be a bald gent than a six-foot-two girl. Society not cares if a person has hair. However in case you are a lady who can squeegee a third-floor window and not using a ladder, cultural biases and gender tropes are nonetheless stacked towards you.

Right here’s one other oddity, per the Unbiased: this week’s ruling was “made by a panel of three males who in making their judgement (sic) bemoaned their very own lack of hair.” Hmm. If I had been a lawyer for British Bung Firm, I’d be exploring a attainable attraction based mostly on a battle of follicle curiosity.

I’m not casting aspersions on the judges. But when I had been a choose and a plaintiff mentioned, “Your Honour, I used to be referred to as a brown, four-eyed freak with shockingly small toes,” it could be laborious for me to be goal.

The tribunal sided with the electrician and concluded he was wrongly fired. The insult he endured was uttered with the aim of violating his “dignity and creating an intimidating, hostile, degrading, humiliating or offensive atmosphere …” Damages shall be awarded at a future listening to.

Honest sufficient. However … sexual harassment?

If the electrician was minding his personal enterprise and strolling via Yorkshire when feminine development employees began catcalling and demanding baldy present them his jackhammer, sure, that’s sexual harassment. If one of many electrician’s colleagues had a Patrick Stewart fetish and was sending him undesirable bald porn, sure, that too is sexual harassment.

However a “bald c–t” slur, whereas enormously offensive, will not be sexual harassment any greater than stealing a turnip from the market is manslaughter.

I believe we will agree nobody deserves to be demeaned on the job. We go to work to earn a dwelling, not a tongue-lashing from an unhinged overlord. However when the legislation is an ass, this doesn’t imply the legislation has a scorching ass.

Electrician Tony Finn was personally and professionally wronged.

However this was not sexual harassment.

To name it that’s an insult to actual victims of sexual harassment.

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